Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Sad Alien

It’s been more than a year since my last entry, which I would say is inexcusable, but truthfully I have a plethora of reasons for the lack of updates. It would be impossible to maintain this blog with the fervor and time-commitment I had in 2010, and the sadness I feel admitting that is immeasurable.

Sometimes the best way to describe a feeling is to give an instance of it, so I will start with this morning.

Gerard Way announced that his debut solo album will be here in just a couple months! September 30! He released the tracklisting, with some of the songs we know and love, and a couple whose demos I have been cherishing for a while now. It’s all so exciting. Or it should be, and it would be normally….

But I have a new feeling when I post news about the guys’ continued art these days. It’s sadness.

No, I’m not sad that it isn’t My Chemical Romance. I’m not sad to see the guys go their separate ways and pursue new things. I’m thrilled to see what they do, in fact, and can't wait for Frank's impending Stomachaches and Gerard's Hesitant Alien.

I’m sad that I can’t immerse myself in it the way I used to. I’m sad that I don’t have the time to hang out with you guys and theorize, cosplay, make art and form new, significant memories surrounding it all.

I feel like a part of me is missing.

I’ve been fueled by my intense passion for MCR for about half of my life and when I can’t indulge in it, it honestly doesn’t feel like living.

It feels like: type, type, copy-paste, crop, post, publish, repeat, repeat, repeat...

It feels like I live in a new colorless world. I miss my home.

3 comments:

Ethne said...

Dear Cassie,

your home will always be here for you. I understand the way you feel. Working as a journalist has that effect on people, but remember this is the path you've chosen, fueled precisely by your love of this band and by your love of music.

There's just so many hours in a day, and while sometimes there won't be enough for you to indulge in the active role you used to have as a prominent member of the MCRmy, you will forever be loved and cherished as such. You can keep on living this passion through your everyday life. Rest assured that your legacy will be here with us forever, and that it can never die.

Go keep being the amazing person you are. Keep living the dream, 'cause girl, you have a killer job. And your future holds a great deal of awesomeness for you to experience.

Brett Cooper said...

All i can tell you is if you're not entirely happy with what you're doing, CHANGE NOW before it's too late. Before you do start making really decent money and then you're stuck. Don't be like me and go to a job that you hate. I always halfway jokingly say I'm on retail job away from suicide. I speak as someone who's on the older part of the MCR fan demographic.

mcrmom said...

Cassie, first off, I want to say that I agree totally with your first commenter. She hit the nail right on the head.

I know you love your job--it's what you've always wanted--but things change. You have adult responsibilities now. But that doesn't change your heart. You have a job that lets you tell things to the world you love: how great is that?

You love MCR still, I know, and all the guys, together and apart. What's going on with you is OK, it's normal. Your passion is still there. Don't let it go, and don't be sad.