Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Sad Alien

It’s been more than a year since my last entry, which I would say is inexcusable, but truthfully I have a plethora of reasons for the lack of updates. It would be impossible to maintain this blog with the fervor and time-commitment I had in 2010, and the sadness I feel admitting that is immeasurable.

Sometimes the best way to describe a feeling is to give an instance of it, so I will start with this morning.

Gerard Way announced that his debut solo album will be here in just a couple months! September 30! He released the tracklisting, with some of the songs we know and love, and a couple whose demos I have been cherishing for a while now. It’s all so exciting. Or it should be, and it would be normally….

But I have a new feeling when I post news about the guys’ continued art these days. It’s sadness.

No, I’m not sad that it isn’t My Chemical Romance. I’m not sad to see the guys go their separate ways and pursue new things. I’m thrilled to see what they do, in fact, and can't wait for Frank's impending Stomachaches and Gerard's Hesitant Alien.

I’m sad that I can’t immerse myself in it the way I used to. I’m sad that I don’t have the time to hang out with you guys and theorize, cosplay, make art and form new, significant memories surrounding it all.

I feel like a part of me is missing.

I’ve been fueled by my intense passion for MCR for about half of my life and when I can’t indulge in it, it honestly doesn’t feel like living.

It feels like: type, type, copy-paste, crop, post, publish, repeat, repeat, repeat...

It feels like I live in a new colorless world. I miss my home.